Day 13 – Work Journals

Sunday 13th November 2016

Day 13:

236 words. Short one. But sweet. I had a fantastic weekend out at Lake Tahoe on retreat in a beautiful cabin, a weekend that came at both the best and worst time, with the whole gambit of emotions: joy, grief, happiness, sorrow, disappointment. It was the mini stabilising roller coaster of tides. It was incredibly beneficial to be processing through some things in the company of 6 amazing women, who were perfectly happy to let me show up however I came. But it’s been a hard week. And it was difficult to not feel disappointed at how I was/wasn’t (perceiving myself, projecting myself) showing up, when I wanted so badly to connect. On the ride back into San Francisco, there was a deluge of venting (I can only imagine the things our Uber driver thought about what he was patiently witnessing. Gratitude to him). And later, when I said, “THIS is what I wanted the weekend to be like, and I’m sad and disappointed that I had those kinds of expectations for my own experience,” R replied: “It’s still the weekend right now. This is still the weekend.”

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