Category: NaNoWriMo

Day 9 – Work Journals

Wednesday, 9th November 2016

Day 9:

3611 words today. Today and today and today. The day that never ends. I had a November 9th in Sydney, one in New Zealand, and another one entirely in San Francisco. This is my own personal Groundhogs Day and I would never have chosen it to be this day. 

3611 words is only what I wrote on the ipad. I also bought a copy of “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child” and spent the first 30 pages reading it and writing everything on top of it. Like a palimpsest. I lay down all of my fears, my anxieties, my questions, my associations, my heart. I lay my heart down on someone else’s words. And because it is Harry Potter, I’m confident it will hold up under the weight of my grief and distress.

I needed a book to read, pages to hold, another narrative to read in my head. But the more I read of this narrative, the more I want to lay my experience down on top of it. Take your More pictures later. I don’t know that it has to do with the Work Book. But I do know that it has everything to do with me trying to work out my purpose in the world. And how I can best serve others, and how I can bring light. And how I can bring fire. And how to best keep us all warm.

Warm your hearts tonight, my friends. I’m going to drown some sorrows.

Day 13 – Work Journals

Sunday 13th November 2016

Day 13:

236 words. Short one. But sweet. I had a fantastic weekend out at Lake Tahoe on retreat in a beautiful cabin, a weekend that came at both the best and worst time, with the whole gambit of emotions: joy, grief, happiness, sorrow, disappointment. It was the mini stabilising roller coaster of tides. It was incredibly beneficial to be processing through some things in the company of 6 amazing women, who were perfectly happy to let me show up however I came. But it’s been a hard week. And it was difficult to not feel disappointed at how I was/wasn’t (perceiving myself, projecting myself) showing up, when I wanted so badly to connect. On the ride back into San Francisco, there was a deluge of venting (I can only imagine the things our Uber driver thought about what he was patiently witnessing. Gratitude to him). And later, when I said, “THIS is what I wanted the weekend to be like, and I’m sad and disappointed that I had those kinds of expectations for my own experience,” R replied: “It’s still the weekend right now. This is still the weekend.”

Day 11 – Work Journals

Friday, 11th November 2016

Day 11:

874. (Later revised to include blog post: 1469). I’m watching the Hamilton’s America Documentary for the second day in a row tonight. I’m planning on watching it tomorrow, and the next tomorrow, and so on, until it stops being able to be streamed on the 18th of November.

I’ve never been a person to watch TV in the background of things (like sleeping, like working, like writing, etc). I don’t need TV for company. But this is different. I feel this way with songs sometimes, or books, or people’s poetry. LMM is a muse to me. I just want him to sit next to me while I work, whether that’s in the form of this documentary, or the soundtrack, or the book. I could fall asleep to this. I could watch it every day and still get something new out of it.
What is the writing showing up as today? Guys. I have so many books in my head. And they’re all churning up and coming out. I’m paying attention. I’m listening. I’ve actually almost fully abandoned the idea of working on the Work Book this month. I am getting it all out, whatever comes. I’m funnelling it out of my head, and once a month’s (or more) worth of material is out in a physical space, I will parse through it and figure out where all of these creative pieces want to live.

Day 12 – Work Journals

Saturday 12th November 2016

Day 12:

2553 today. And, again, that was only the words on screen. Lots more on paper. I feel like I’m just downloading out of my brain. Insights, thoughts, reflections. Whenever I talk about the Work Book to anyone, their immediate reaction is: “Write it. How can I help you? What do you need?” It makes me feel like I should be focusing my writing more, but that’s an unhelpful, unnecessary should-ing. All of this is leading somewhere. All of this content makes many books.

Day 10 – Work Journals

Thursday 10th November 2016

Day 10:

800 words. Still not story? But it’s life, and there is story there.

I’m spending the weekend (including tonight) in other people’s houses, surrounded by discussion and conversations and relationships. This is part of the challenge of November: to retain the focus while I’m weaving in and out of physical space, mental space, emotional space, relationships. To remember to come back to the screen, to the keys, to the letters, and the words, and to construct the thoughts together. Weaving. It’s all a kind of weaving in and out.

Day 8 – Work Journals

Tuesday, 8th November 2016

Day 8:

5709 words today! Zendesk article, notes on an article, notes from text messages, and a few notes from my phone call with Ben. 

Tomorrow, I’m on a plane. Which means that Day 9 is actually like two days long for me! (and, in the reverse problem, I’m pretty sure I’m losing the 21st of November entirely). 

Feels good, but still feels hectic due to all the other things going on that I’m trying to simultaneously accomplish. Like packing. And work. And deadlines. And travel. On the phone with Ben last night, I promised him some epic email letters while I’m away. I’m also pretty sure they’ll be applicable to the NaNoWriMo I’m doing here, so I’m going to include them in daily writing too.

Does anyone else have this problem — as the Work Book is becoming more and more clear, there are other themes and other books arising too. I’m taking note, and getting all the thoughts down (because why not catch them and sketch them out while they’re coming through as well?). But it feels a little like my brain is trying to write 3 books at once. 

I’m not in the writing phase of the Work Book yet, so it doesn’t matter if it’s getting assuaged with other ideas. NaNoWriMo for me is just about getting the raw material down on the page. Thoughts, questions, reflections to articles and videos and other people talking about similar topics.

But still.. It’s very present. “It” being: at least 2 other books. And ideas and content and questions for those books.

Day 7 – Work Journals

Monday, 7th November 2016

Day 7:

My people. I only wrote 400 words. Tomorrow’s word count is going to be astronomical. I can feel it. 

I’m pretty exhausted. I’m still trying to get through Monday and Tuesday as the most insane days of this week. SO much work to pack in before I leave. And the writing. Always comes back to the writing. I’m realising it gets much easier to do all the other things if my mind gets the chance to unload all of the insights and questions and inquiries it’s hoarding and holding onto. 

Day 6 – Work Journals

Sunday, 6th November 2016

Day 6:

I need to be working on an article for Zendesk right now. Deadline is tomorrow (though, it’s actually in two days, because of US deadlines vs Australia deadlines). But, still. It’s due, and soon. 

This is a section from my 331 words today, mostly journalling (with some book reflections thrown in there): “I should be working on the Danielle Di Masi article to submit to Sarah Reed tomorrow. I’ll just have to edit it on breaks at work, and during lunch. Work will be hard for two days straight (with an info night in between for Annie Get Your Gun). And then, I’ll be out at the airport, and on a flight, and actually with quite a lot of time on my hands to write and reflect, and keep the momentum rolling.

Maybe that’s what most of life is: recognising the cycles and patterns of habits, time, circumstance. What we feel we can do, when, and how. Why we feel pulled out of sync. What happens to bring us back into resonance.”

Day 4

Friday, 4th November 2016

Day 4:

306 words today. I’m tired, overwhelmed with work. There’s so much I need to get done before heading to SF next week. Writing, on top of everything, feels like a challenge. A rich, rich challenge. Went to bed at 8pm today, and slept for 9 hours.